For more than a decade, Melody has helped smart, thoughtful top performers at the world’s most successful companies — including Google, JP Morgan, and Verizon — get the recognition, respect, and pay they deserve. She's a licensed social worker with a master’s degree from Columbia University, a professor of human behavior at Hunter College in New York City, and a former emotions researcher at Rutgers University. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and dozens of other respected publications. She’s a regular contributor to Harvard Business Review, Forbes, Fast Company, and CNBC. Melody is also the author of Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work.
We’ve all heard the advice: “Let your work speak for itself.” It sounds noble. But according to workplace psychologist and author Melody Wilding, it’s also outdated and, for women in leadership especially, dangerously misleading.
In a world where attention is the scarcest resource, being brilliant behind the scenes is no longer enough. Visibility, Melody argues, is not a luxury or an ego-driven bonus - it’s a professional responsibility. “Your leaders aren’t mind readers,” she shared, “if you’re not advocating for your work, you’re withholding information that could help the whole team succeed.”
But here’s the real breakthrough: self-advocacy doesn’t require loudness, bravado, or being “on” all the time. It’s not about changing your personality but rather about owning your contributions, clearly and consistently. Melody’s step-by-step framework makes it possible to speak up without selling out.
Here’s how.
The first shift Melody asked us to make was internal: to stop viewing self-advocacy as selfish or political, and instead start seeing it as essential communication. When you speak about your work, you’re not bragging—you’re equipping others with the context they need to make better decisions. Leaders and stakeholders need to understand your impact to allocate resources, promotions, or recognition.
And for those who fear being too visible? Melody gently pointed out the difference between being quiet and being invisible. The most effective leaders are not just competent, but also seen.
One of the biggest barriers to speaking up is simply not knowing what to say. That’s why Melody recommends creating a “story bank” -- a personal log of wins, challenges overcome, and positive feedback. When you regularly reflect on what’s gone well and document your contributions, you build both confidence and clarity. These stories become your proof points, not just for performance reviews or job interviews, but for everyday visibility moments.
And it doesn’t need to be fancy. A simple spreadsheet with the project, your role, the impact, and the key skill it demonstrated is enough. As Melody put it, “You already did the hard part - now your job is to capture it.”
Even the most meaningful accomplishments can fall flat if they’re not communicated clearly. Melody emphasized the power of story structure—not just for brevity, but for memorability.
Frameworks like Problem – Action – Solution or We – Then Me give your contributions a logical arc that’s easy for others to follow and retain. They also help strike the right tone: confident but not boastful, clear but not arrogant. And if you struggle with quantifying your work, don’t overthink it—ranges, frequencies, and comparisons (“35% open rate—10% above industry average”) all help translate your value into something tangible.
Confidence, Melody reminded us, isn’t about being the loudest person in the room. It’s about owning your work without diminishing it. Too often, women preface accomplishments with disclaimers or apologize for their success. Instead, Melody offered a mindset shift: think of your communication as fact-based reporting, not personal promotion.
Using her ARC method (Accuracy, Relevance, Context) you can spotlight your work without centering yourself. “You’re not saying, ‘I’m amazing,’” she explained. “You’re saying, ‘Here’s what happened, why it matters, and how it helps the business.’”
Finally, Melody highlighted the power of social proof. The most trusted voices in the room aren’t always the ones doing all the talking—they’re often the ones others are talking about. Whether it’s forwarding a glowing client email, quoting feedback in a slide deck, or mentioning that you ran your idea past a respected colleague, leveraging third-party validation builds credibility faster than self-promotion ever could.
And this applies beyond your immediate team. On platforms like LinkedIn, Melody recommends starting small: use your story bank to post milestone reflections, engage with others' content by adding thoughtful commentary, or reach out with an “info ask” to build meaningful relationships. Done consistently, this kind of external self-advocacy can be a quiet, powerful extension of your voice.
